So, I was or am having a hard time sleeping. When I asked myself why, I started to give myself a sob story. I dont like my job and I want a new one....and I am still single. And, I wish I could save more money or had more of it, and I wish I had better stuff, etc. I just applied for a position in West Palm as a Rec Center Supervisor. The job is me. Definitely! But, I am also worried that I may not get that interview. Again. Like so many other jobs I thought were me. So, I was down about that too...but still thinking of some other way to send another resume or get noticed. Thinking about what I did wrong on my online application. I am slightly hopefuly, but then I think about the drama of moving. Would I move back in with my parents and save money? Or find my own place? How would my old job deal? Well, I realize my blessing. And for someone looking in on my life, they probably would think that I have lost my mind! Why?
Well for starters, I am a good looking chick. When I was in Florida, I got too much play. So much so that I could legally drive with illegal tints just to stop the stalkers. I was a model...tall slim, pretty...nice features...great dresser..confident - at least on the outside. I have 4...yes 4 guys who adore me and if given the chance would definitely wife me up. They are good looking, great aspirations...definitely going somewhere. Am I happy? No lol...I sit here and think about how I want Vincent and dont feel like I have him. I should not feel that way. I should be blessed, because there are wwaaayyy too many women out there with no prospects at all. Me, I have 4! As for Vince...I just have to wait like I did with the others. At one point, I was interested in all of them, but now, I have let them go and now they wont stop chasing me! Vince will be the same. He will realize what he is missing or what he is losing. He will be back. They always come back. Let go and let God when it comes to love. He only has and only wants the best for me. He knows what I want, but more important, he knows what I need. I have to let Him work it out. My faith needs to shine through. Stop chasing them. Do you naturally. Just do you.
As for the job...come on! How many people out there dont have one!! You are one of the youngest directors with one of the larger sites...not to mention, you do a darn good job! I get praise from where it matters and I get the satisfaction of knowing that I am getting a job done. Thats good enough. I wish that I could compare programs and see how I am doing, but thats not always possible. Today however, I was given that chance! A ex worker came back from working at another location, and boy did she have some stuff to say about them! She definitely appreciated what she had with us and wanted to come back. I took her back.
What else? Well, life in general...I have a roof over my head in a nice gated community. I live not even 5 miles from a church that I love...and get fed there (spiritually) every time I go. I have a relatively new car in great condition, no serious health issues, clothes on my back, money in the bank...NOT living check to check like many! Not pregnant with kids...none of that. I even have a decent roommate. There is really nothing that I can complain about. IF I do, its just me being ungrateful.
So STOP the whining. STOP complaining....and STOP thinking about what you do not have and focus on all the great things God has provided for you. I am soo blessed it is ridiculus. I am definitely highly favored. I have been chosen. So what do I do now? Focus on God and what He has for me. Keep him as my primary work...primary motivation...primary source. Focus. Everyday. The rest is sure to follow. That is His promise to me. And God does NOT break promises.
Omnipresent, Ominscent, Omnipotent God, I thank you for this day, the good and the bad...I thank you for blessing me in every single area of my life. I pray that you will help me to stay focused on you on an everyday basis whether in the good or in the bad. Allow me to see your work through me and to live each day keeping in mind that your work is my first job on this earth. I thank you that you have brought me to this point in my life where I can see my faults in action and in thought and I can re-set them towards you. I thank you for my church and the wonderful people that work to bring your word to life for me and all that attend. Continue to keep me Lord. Continue to do what you do for me and all those around me. Thank you for your undying love for me despite my wickedness...and I thank you for the small victories. Its amazing Lord what you have done...and to ponder on your grace would only bring me both sadness and joy. Joy in the new life we have in you and in the salvation that you have brought to us through your son Jesus Christ...and Sadness in the fact that so many people do not know who you are, chose to turn away from you or claim to love you but do not show it. I pray for all that they may come to see you for who you are. Lord, you only want to love us. Show others this through me. Bring people to you through me. I will try Lord...try to do your will...day by day. I pray that I can hold fast to your word. With your help Lord I know it can happen. I know it will not be easy and I know that we will endure pain, suffering, hardships and the like. We are not immune from this...I know. I am understanding of that, and I know that through each storm Lord, there is Always a rainbow at the end...always hope...Thank you Lord...THank you Jesus...Thank you for choosing me. I love you.
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