Praise and Glory be to you Lord....

I am feeling pretty emotional right now. I finished the book of Johm and started on the book of Acts. Jesus is soo amazing. I cry...but its not a cry of sadness. I cry because I am greatful. I cry because - because I am thankful. I cry because He is so merciful and I am not worthy. I cry because we dont deserve His love. We have put Him through so much. We are horrible people...but he Loves us still...he still cares. Thank you Lord for saving me. Thank you for the second, third, millionth chance. There were so many times you were there...but I didnt see you. I did not want to see you. I wanted to do my own thing. But Lord, I have found you...and I am ready and willing. And I want you to be with me every step of the way. I am thankful. Thank you Lord. Please walk with me Lord. NBless me although I am not worthy. Thank you. Save my friends. Help them to see your wonders through me...through anything Lord...just help them like you have helped me. Life is still hard, but Life is better with you by my side...everyday.
Lord, I researched the gift of the Holy Spirit - the gift of tongues. Lord I believe I have the Holy Spirit - otherwise...where would I be?? But Lord, I ask for the gift of tongues. I am scared Lord. Very scared to be that close to you. I am terrified. Because of the guilt. But I will continue to pray Lord. I know I will have it. I probably do have it...I just need to get it out of me. Thank you Lord, for what you have already done for me...and what you will cotinue to do for me. I love you. I thank you. Thank you Lord. I love you thank you thank you thank you Lord. thank you

Nothing going on...

Well, it has been an interesting week. In got my little date with Babes as I now affectionately call him. It was tight. Looking forward to more :) Um, we talk more. He calls me and we talk about nothingness. He keeps surprising me. I want to call him tonight...and I probably will. I dont have as much apprehension as I usually do - the kind that I had with Tristan. I dont have much to talk about...um, I want to go back to school. Get a Masters in Health Administration at Georgia State. I looked up the class and it looks very interesting. I need to take the GMAT first. That is definitely in my future. At the end is a residency...not a paper! woohoo! lol. That is what kept me back from getting that other degree. Well that is it. I am thankful to God for all that he is doing in my life. Continue to set me up to do what is good and pleasing in your will. I am not sure of what is what, but I know that I am good in His arms. I know that I am in the right. I love God. I love Him. He is my light...my guide...my one...and I love him. I get teary eyed when I think about it :)

Thank you Jesus!! Thank you for everything!! I love you :)!!

Waiting on His Will

Well, I decided to write because it seems like I always write when something is going wrong. Although there is nothing wrong with that, I still should write when things are well. As for my work life...we have gone into a little slump. We are at a 4/5 million dollar deficit so there are many many cutbacks. Thankfully I am not one of them! The economy is not doing well, but God can override all of that, so I dont have worries. Nonetheless, I am getting bored with my job and I am ready for something new. I have been looking, but I need Word on my computer to really put out my resume.
As for my love life, nothing. I am definitely not mad at that though. I realize that I am pushing and wanting too much. I need to relax and let God. I have said it soo many times, but never really done it. I dont want to mess up potential in Nehe...so I read different segments in the Bible and read online about the will of God, patience, and such when it comes to finding the right one. I bookmarked it for future reference. I had to then go apologize to Nehe for a comment I made: "If I want you, as long as there is hope I will keep trying to get you". If it was not that it was really close to that. So anyway, I DO have hope in maybe God giving him (Nehe) to me as a potential spouse. All I can do now if further our relationship as friends and see what it ends up as. I will keep praying about it. I know He has a special man for me. After all I have been through..I KNOW He has someone very special for me. No doubt. So when I find someone that has Godly characteristics, I try to cling to them. Tristan is a good example. He was trying or is trying to be Christlike, and I am happy for him...but his defaults were not good for me at that time. I could see myself sinning with him. It was not right. With Nehe...things are different. He kind of scares me. I see him as a true man. I respect him. I listen...although he is NOT perfect. I am honest with him. He is nice to me. He is a Jesus freak :) I love that.
I see how he could possibly bring out the best in me...but I dont see how I could bring out the best in him. For once in my life...He is doing better then me...or his path has been better then mine. I know that God has given us all different paths, and none is better then the other. Kind of like our gifts...none is better...they are just different. I have to remember that. He is not better then me. We are equally loved by God.
Well God, I would love to have him as a potential husband, BUT I know you have the best in mind for me. So if its not him, its ALL good! I await your truth to unfold and continue to bless me. Thank you for what you have done for me , what you are doing for me and what you will do for me. Help me to be a blessing to others. I love you :)