So as I was spending some time online, a friend from work sends me a message. We start chatting about church and the message that was preached. I then asked him about where he was as far as work and school. He just graduated from college with an engineering degree and is planning on going to graduate school. In the end he wants to own his own construction company and own a restaurant. Nice. I definitely believe in him. Then he said after that he would like to find a good woman. He said that it would be difficult to find - I disagreed. There are soo many single christian women out there...very few single christian men. He will find that special someone. I think its easier for him then me. He said it would be more difficult because he wanted someone with dreams and goals. There are a lot of women like that though. Anyway, the conversation turned to me and why I was still single. I told him that I was just chilling because I had no prospects. He asked if I chill with other people. Of course! I gave him a couple examples...then he asked, "So what if I wanted to chill with you?"....I said "we would chill". He seemed content.
So could this be a new chapter? He is 6 foot something, a practicing christian, very cute, can dress pretty well, well spoken, ambitious, quiet, reserved...He is a good guy. Oh, he is 24. Young. He wants to go to Georgia tech for a civil engineering masters degree. He lives kind of far and he does not drive to work - so I am assuming he does not have a car. He reminds me of Jabari. A good guy who has nothing...but Jabari is balling now with a beautiful house and 5 series beemer. I am attracted to Nehemiah, but not sexually. That is probably a good thing. That will allow us to be friends. A few girls I know have a crush on him. He is NOT interested...its pretty funny. Well, I don't know at all where this is heading. Not quit understanding it, but I will go with it. At least he made a step towards trying to chill with him. That is more then I can say for Tristan. To be honest, I dont think Tristan and I will ever chill. I think that by the time he decides he wants to do something, I will be done with it. Thats good.
Well God, I am a little nervous as to where this is heading, but I trust you. Thank you for showing me that someone has the balls to want to chill with me. Thats exactly what I wanted. Thats what you gave me. I need to start looking in that direction. Thank you!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Company You Keep
It is better to be alone, then in the wrong company.
Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are.
If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but if you associate
with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by
the kinds of friends he chooses. The simple but true fact of life is that
you become like those whom you closely associate for the good and the bad.
The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Anytime you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
As you grow, your associates will change.
Some of your friends will not want you to go on.
They will want you to stay where they are.
Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.
Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream
Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.
CONSIDER THIS:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
Never discuss problems with people incapable of contributing to the solution,
because those who never succeed themselves are always the first to tell you how to.
Not everyone has the right to speak into your life
You are certain to get the worse of the bargain when you exchange ideas
with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who is not going anywhere.
With some people you spend an evening; with others you invest it.
Be careful where you stop and inquire for directions along the road of life.
Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.
Happy moments, praise God
Difficult moments, seek God
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God
If you see people without a smile today, give them one of yours.
Choose to rise...don't settle...and go for your dreams.
And most of all, let God lead you in everything you do.
Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are.
If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but if you associate
with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by
the kinds of friends he chooses. The simple but true fact of life is that
you become like those whom you closely associate for the good and the bad.
The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Anytime you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
As you grow, your associates will change.
Some of your friends will not want you to go on.
They will want you to stay where they are.
Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.
Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream
Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.
CONSIDER THIS:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
Never discuss problems with people incapable of contributing to the solution,
because those who never succeed themselves are always the first to tell you how to.
Not everyone has the right to speak into your life
You are certain to get the worse of the bargain when you exchange ideas
with the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who is not going anywhere.
With some people you spend an evening; with others you invest it.
Be careful where you stop and inquire for directions along the road of life.
Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.
Happy moments, praise God
Difficult moments, seek God
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God
If you see people without a smile today, give them one of yours.
Choose to rise...don't settle...and go for your dreams.
And most of all, let God lead you in everything you do.
Let Go!!!
I went to church today and the topic was still on grace. What did I get from the message? Well, I realize that I NBED to LET GO and LET GOD. I know I keep writing it and I keep saying it, but I am not doing it. I still worry. Its as if I think I can control things. I can make myself happy only if I can get him to call me or text me...hang out with me. But only God knows the truth. Only he knows how to make me truley happy. I knows best...just as a parent knows what is best for his or her child. I am a child of God. God is my Father. If I just do his Will...FOCUS on doing His Will - daily...daily...daily...he will bless me in the things I want - if those things are His things. I know that what I want in a man is in His Will. It goes along with what He says a man should be. I need to let Him do what He has planned. Just in looking at my testimony as it relates to finding love...He has strategically done things that will ultimately lead to my happiness. Its a daily task to remind myself of His will for my life and His genuine Love of me. So with that said...I closed the chapter per se, but even better, Im just going to let God and be thankful for the day. Live in the Day and be greatful for His love, His grace, His mercy. I am a child of God!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Time to close the Tristan Chapter
Ive been in a pretty reflective mood all day. Last night I was upset at the whole Tristan thing. Not that he has personally done anything to me...but that there is nothing going on. The texts have stopped and he stopped calling me. I was so sure I was not going to go to the workout today, but I had to ask myself..who am I hurting? Yes, it will bring short term satisfaction, but am I really doing anything to him? to me? Is that helping the situation at all?
Anyway, I wore something that was not enticing to make sure I did not impede his spiritual walk. I got there early so that I could run on the track. I did...it felt really good to have the music in my ear and my running to the beat. I felt it more. I had some issues when it came to the workout though. I got dizzy and had to sit for a minute. I didnt eat anything before I got there which was the mistake. He said a few words to me...nothing outside of being his normal nice self. Once the workout was over he reminded me and the other ladies to take in some protein. I was the first to pack up and leave. There was no reason to sit around and chat. His ex was not there this time. That was a relief for me.
Once home, I felt kind of restless. Mostly because my thoughts were on Tristan. I want him to call me. I want him to text me. I want him to be interested. I want to build something. I feel like I am getting dumped. I feel myself not believing anything he told me in that long text talk we had on Tuesday. How can you be attracted to someone, but not want to spend any time with them? not call? or anything? After my dizzy spell today, I would have thought he would call just to check up on me. He didnt. Which brings me to that question that I always seem to ask when it comes to guys: Does he care? Apparently not that much.
I turned to God for answers and spent some time in Bible Study. It was great. During that time, I felt good. I found some verses for Tristan as well, so I sent him a text with all the info...told him they were powerful and helpful verses for me during my bible study, and that I hope they are useful to him as well. No respnse.
He has stopped responding regularly.
I think it is that time. I have to really let go. He is not what I thought he was. I am expecting too much..-or rather, he cant handle my expectations - he is not the one for me. Am I being pre-mature? or just truthful? He knows I like him...but this is how he chooses to treat my feelings.
Ok. I must stipulate some rules that I am to follow.
Rule 1 - Do NOT text him anymore. Only text him BACK. Do not initiate.
Rule 2 - Do NOT call him. I wasnt anyway, so that wont be difficult.
Rule 3 - Be cordial and friendly. Do NOT go the extra mile for anything. Let him.
Those are the rules. I would really like to delete the #, but that is childish. I wont.
Does being honest hurt you in the long run? Is that where I went wrong?
Regardless, I am thankful. I found out somethings about myself that I did not like. He ...like Arnie, have started a change in me that is for the better. He has helped me raise my own standards. I must let God. If that is what I am to get from him...I got it...its time to move on.
In the next man I meet...hopefully he will be the right one. I want all those qualities that Tristan has, pluswhat he does NOT have: a caring nature towards me...an effort to get to know me and be a friend...and an appreciation for the person I am. All that and more :)
Pray for me
Anyway, I wore something that was not enticing to make sure I did not impede his spiritual walk. I got there early so that I could run on the track. I did...it felt really good to have the music in my ear and my running to the beat. I felt it more. I had some issues when it came to the workout though. I got dizzy and had to sit for a minute. I didnt eat anything before I got there which was the mistake. He said a few words to me...nothing outside of being his normal nice self. Once the workout was over he reminded me and the other ladies to take in some protein. I was the first to pack up and leave. There was no reason to sit around and chat. His ex was not there this time. That was a relief for me.
Once home, I felt kind of restless. Mostly because my thoughts were on Tristan. I want him to call me. I want him to text me. I want him to be interested. I want to build something. I feel like I am getting dumped. I feel myself not believing anything he told me in that long text talk we had on Tuesday. How can you be attracted to someone, but not want to spend any time with them? not call? or anything? After my dizzy spell today, I would have thought he would call just to check up on me. He didnt. Which brings me to that question that I always seem to ask when it comes to guys: Does he care? Apparently not that much.
I turned to God for answers and spent some time in Bible Study. It was great. During that time, I felt good. I found some verses for Tristan as well, so I sent him a text with all the info...told him they were powerful and helpful verses for me during my bible study, and that I hope they are useful to him as well. No respnse.
He has stopped responding regularly.
I think it is that time. I have to really let go. He is not what I thought he was. I am expecting too much..-or rather, he cant handle my expectations - he is not the one for me. Am I being pre-mature? or just truthful? He knows I like him...but this is how he chooses to treat my feelings.
Ok. I must stipulate some rules that I am to follow.
Rule 1 - Do NOT text him anymore. Only text him BACK. Do not initiate.
Rule 2 - Do NOT call him. I wasnt anyway, so that wont be difficult.
Rule 3 - Be cordial and friendly. Do NOT go the extra mile for anything. Let him.
Those are the rules. I would really like to delete the #, but that is childish. I wont.
Does being honest hurt you in the long run? Is that where I went wrong?
Regardless, I am thankful. I found out somethings about myself that I did not like. He ...like Arnie, have started a change in me that is for the better. He has helped me raise my own standards. I must let God. If that is what I am to get from him...I got it...its time to move on.
In the next man I meet...hopefully he will be the right one. I want all those qualities that Tristan has, pluswhat he does NOT have: a caring nature towards me...an effort to get to know me and be a friend...and an appreciation for the person I am. All that and more :)
Pray for me
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