Arnie

My day has gotten a lot better. I went to church and feel re-motivated!
I wanted to write more about this guy Arnie. He is tall, dark and very handsome. He is intelligent and motivated. He is silly, dorky and goofy, but so sexy at the same time. He makes me change. He makes me want to be more like him in certain ways. I don't think someone has ever made me do that. Usually it's me pulling people up . . .for the first time, I find myself really listening . . .really watching. He makes me want to better myself. He is spiritual and takes the Word seriously. We've been to church together. I'm not saying that this guy is the ONE, but I am saying that if God has something better in store for me - well then HOT DIGGITY DAMN! lol. So what is the problem ??
Well, he has a girl. That's the problem. Although it is not official, he likes her a lot and I guess she likes him. They are in a long distance relationship. It makes me sad to think that she is way over yonder and I could be fulfilling all his wants and needs - I'm right here. For now, I have to be satisfied with being a friend. That's what I am going to do. Hopefully, one day (soon), I will have the opportunity of being his ONE. Only God knows right.
So I started thinking about me this evening . . .and about what steps I want to take at being a better me. Two things came up: cursing and sex. I definitely would like to give up both. I'm not currently having sex right now and I definitely do not want to - until . . .marriage. I know! It's crazy, but I think I can do it! I just need . . .the right man to help me along that route. As I thought about this . . .I thought about Arnie. I truly believe that Arnie is the type of man that would try along with me. If we were a couple, I really believe he would be right there with me. That just makes me like him even more.
I thought about telling him how I felt, but I think I would scare him away. Or at least surprise him. It's been a strange road. We have both done things we shouldnt have. . .together. We are now back at step one - friendship. Why ? Because I put an end to it. I realized that his heart was with his other chick . . .but his loins were with me . . .and that is just not fair. He said he definitely understood. I told him that he needs to give his chick 100%. He said I was right.
I was sad. I was mad. I regretted a lot of things. I've learned alot of things too.
I'm glad we are back at 1. I just hope one day it progresses to that happily ever after . . .if not with him . . .then with whomeva God sets me up with. Like I said earlier . . .if it gets better then this . . . .mm mm mm nuff said