Closing Chapter

Wow! Well, I found out that Arnie is definitely going to see his girlfriend today and will be with her for a week. That's a long time! The most I've went out of town to see a guy was a couple days. That trip can really make or break em, so I do wish him luck. On the flip side, it is time to close that chapter. After writing such a heartfelt letter to him, he did not respond or even acknowledge that it was sent. I was pretty surprised. His character is really not up to par with my expectations. He has some growing up to do. I really believe that I am a good person. Someone who is about upliftment. He would really benefit from befriending me, but he doesnt want to. I hope he sees that later on in life and perhaps learns from it. Usually when a male does me wrong in that sense, he regrets it later on when he attempts at coming back and Im not there. I dont know if I will be there, but I know that for my health, I need to close that chapter. I also need to close the JT chapter because I know that it is not working.

I am struggling write now - emotionally and spiritually. I feel defeated. I want someone in my life...and God has not delivered that to me yet. Perhaps he has, and it just has not been revealed. I am just tired of going through life alone. I feel like I am well on my way in all aspects except for that one. I am trying my best to be patient, but after some one doesnt work out, I feel like I am back at square one. Im getting to old for this. I just want to go home. I am home sick. By home, I mean Heaven. I dont want to be here anymore - nor do I ever want to come back to this hell on earth. It definitely is HELL ON EARTH!

Well, that is how I am feeling. I keep thinking about how this guy is going off to see his girl. Thats why I cant sleep. A friend just told me not to sweat them cuz they always come back. Plus, I dont want to look worn out by the time the next one rolls around! lol She made me laugh. She is right though. They usually always come back. The question is = how will I react. I'll definitely lay some ground rules...and we will be starting from scratch, cuz his character is flawed.
Im not feeling too well, so I am out. Until nex time...