Find A Way

This weekend went pretty well. I went on a couple dates with the young one. We went to 5th Friday and Uptown. I felt different afterwards though. I wanted him to come to church with me, but he resisted. I realized then that he cant be the one. Now I wonder what we need each other in this life for. What is my purpose with him? What is his purpose with me? What are we suppose to learn? It left me kind of sad...why? Because I knew he wasnt the one. I cried some.

Arnie's girlfriend has gone off again. I dont know for how long...but I bet that hurts. The closest Ive come to that was Mike. When he went to NY for the summer, it hurt. I bet it hurt Arnie. I hurt for him. I'll give him a mental hug. I know he misses her and she misses him. Man that is going to be soo hard. I wouldnt want to be him right now. More then ever now he will have to stay away from temptation. I didnt see him at service today...maybe sadness has gotten the best of him.

Arnie,
Stay strong. You'll make it through. Reflect on the positive memories. Stay in touch. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I hate to ask...but is she your one? I still wonder about Us. Could it have happened? Could you have been my happily ever after? I felt a unique bond with you. It was too easy to talk to you. Like we've been talking...forever...in past lifetimes. I hate the hurt that we caused each other. I hate the rift that is between us right now. Self-inflicted on both sides. Right now would be the worse time to try to regain what we had. I would be hitting you below the belt in a sense. 'Catch him when he's down'. I still have some love for you. I dont want to though - why ? Because I dont think thats going anywhere. Shoot - its not. Look at where we are. Im not over it yet - I cant even watch my new guy play ball cuz you're there. It still hurts. We havent has many shared times...but the couple that we have...were nice. I dedicate Dwele's song to you..."Find a Way". If not here on this earth...We'll find our love in heaven.